


a lack of subtlety

by engolras



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Gen, misuse of pasta, some avengers having a good time because i need that right now, the avengers all cuddle with each other; just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engolras/pseuds/engolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky isn't as good at keeping up a persona as the others seem to think he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a lack of subtlety

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by tumblr user jrantaire who started improving with sunglasses as richard a.k.a. "bucky barnes undercover with help from tony stark" and gave me the fic idea.  
> in light of all the civil war stuff coming out right now, i'm ignoring the angst and writing stuff like this.

Tony and Clint joke that they’re sitting him down to negotiate his kinks.  Bucky isn’t entirely sure what those are yet, but judging from Steve’s fond headshake and Bruce putting his face in his hands, Bucky thinks he can safely assume it’s something sex related.  The way Tony and Clint keep giggling like five year olds does nothing to disprove this theory.

They want to put him on missions; both SHIELD and the Avengers.  Bucky had never thought this day would come.  After months of back and forth between no one wanting him on missions, only the Avengers wanting him on missions, only SHIELD wanting him on missions, Fury trying to convince both sides to wait a little longer, and Bucky’s own fluctuating trust in himself, everyone is in agreement.  Now all they have to deal with is the question of which missions they can actually send Bucky out on.

The kink negotiation (as Bucky will call it from now on because whenever he does Tony and Clint dissolve into more fits of laughter) happens over dinner.  Natasha and Sam, currently on their way home from a mission of their own, go through the logistics of the different missions SHIELD might assign to him via a hologram program thing - Bucky’s unsure of the actual name - that Tony built into the table about a month ago.  Bucky is fully on board when it comes to fighting with the others and, if he’s completely honest, surveillance missions don’t sound too bad either.  The undercover missions though are a bit problematic.

Everyone at the table stops eating, and Natasha and Sam both raise an eyebrow on screen.

“Really?” asks Clint.  “I mean, there’s no way to say this without sounding like a presumptuous ass, but why?  You’re good at hiding and stuff.”

“I  _ am _ good at hiding,” Bucky says and stuffs his mouth with a forkful of pasta.  “But I’m not good at pretending to be someone else.”

“Welp, I guess you get to join me in the ‘Too Cool For Incognito’ Club,” Tony says, nudging Bucky’s metal shoulder.  “We’ll be up to two members, which means I can call it a club without Pepper insisting that one person does not constitute a club.”

“You’re not Tony level bad at going incognito though, are you?” Natasha asks.

“Excuse me, but we all know that the reason I can’t keep a cover going is because too many people know my handsome face,” Tony protests.

“Bucky is just as bad as Tony,” Steve says from Bucky’s other side.

“I will kick you out of this tower,” Tony threatens through a mouthful of food.

“Why is Tony bad at it?” Bucky asks, grinning at the muttered “traitor” from Tony.

“Outside of his well known face, Tony has a problem with sticking to scripts,” Clint explains.  “He’ll improvise a lot of things about his persona, which is usually a good thing, but his info ends up not matching up and that blows his cover.”

“I’m a creative spirit,” Tony insists.

“Okay, Steve,” Bucky says, “that’s a different kind of bad.”

Clint laughs and Tony throws a piece of pasta at him.  Bruce shakes his head and leans down to pick the food up off the floor.

Steve shrugs.  “Fair enough.  You just can’t keep a convincing persona going to save your life.”

“Try it,” Sam says.  “I wanna see how bad it is.”

“I’m gonna need something as a disguise,” Bucky says.  “Otherwise I won’t be able to get into character at all.”

Clint jumps out of his chair.  “Hold on,” he exclaims, and sprints out of the room.

“He better not have had coffee in the last few hours,” Natasha says.  “He’ll be up all night otherwise.”

“ _ That’s _ where my coffee went,” Tony mumbles.

Clint runs back into the room and holds out a pair of sunglasses to Bucky across the table.  “Use these.”

“Those are expensive,” Tony says.

“We’re putting them to good use,” Clint insists.

Bucky gingerly takes the sunglasses and slips them over his eyes.  He straightens up in his chair, and Steve preemptively snorts at him.

“Ask me things,” Bucky says.

“What’s your name?” Sam asks.

“Richard,” Bucky answers.

“You got a last name there, Richard?” Tony asks.

Bucky turns to look at him.  “Richard Than You.”

Across the table, Bruce snorts and Clint giggles.  Tony manages to keep a somewhat straight face.

“Really?”

“Well, yeah.  I’m really rich.  Hence the name Richard.”  Bucky pauses and then taps the sunglasses.  “And these.”  Bucky momentarily slouches as he tries to think of a name, and straightens up again before speaking again.  “My last name is actually Jameson.”

“Oh,” Tony says, looking happy to play along.  “The lawyer firm?”

Bucky visibly slouches and straightens up again before responding.  “No… uh, the newspaper company?”

Tony nods.  “Ah yes, the Jameson newspaper company.  I think I decided against buying that out sometime in the last month or so.  Didn’t think it was a smart investment.”

“Sucks for you.  We’re actually steadily gaining…” Bucky taps his fingers on the table.  “What’s the word?”

“Power?” Clint asks.

“Affluence?” Sam suggests.

“That sounds right.”  Bucky coughs and turns back to Tony.  “We’re steadily gaining affluence.”

“Really?  Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Brief interruption,” Natasha says, bringing everyone’s attention to the video projection.  “I think we’re putting Bucky at a disadvantage by making him improvise so much.  Shouldn’t we give him a character and situation for more accurate results?”

Bucky takes off the sunglasses.  “Nah, Nat, it’s fine.  I’ve got a character now anyway.  Richard Than You Jameson: rich asshole extraordinaire.”

“So, Tony?” Clint jokes.

“Rude.”  Tony throws another piece of pasta at Clint, which Clint catches this time around.

“Even more rude,” Tony says.

“For the sake of proper testing,” Natasha draws attention to the index cards in her hands, “let’s say that Richard Jameson is trying to get information of possible business deals with crime rings from the owner of a suspect company.”

“Do you just keep various incognito situations on index cards?” Tony asks.

“Mostly for game purposes on long flights,” Natasha explains.  “Like those improv games.”

“Why didn’t you break those out earlier?” Sam asks.

“You were asleep earlier.”

Sam shrugs.  “Fair enough.”

“So, gentlemen,” Natasha says, gesturing to Bucky and Tony, “if you will.”

Bucky puts the sunglasses on, Tony pops his shirt collar, and Steve snorts at the sight of both of them.

“Wait, hold on.”  Bucky lowers the glasses.  “What’s your shady business person name?” 

Tony’s grin widens.  “Justin Hammer.”

“Wow, Tony,” Natasha says.  “That doesn’t sound like friendly competition to me.”

“I’m trying to give him a realistic situation.”

Natasha shakes her head, smiling.  “Go on then.”

“So, Mr. Hammer,” Bucky begins.  “Any, uh, helpful business deals come your way lately?”

“Well, I guess you could say that,” Tony replies in an exaggerated nasally voice.  “I mean, it’s not like Hammer Industries needs help, but I’ve secured some beneficial partnerships in the last little while.”

“Beneficial to your company, or you specifically?” Bucky asks, sounding more like himself than the drawl he was using for Richard Jameson.

Bucky sees Steve make a “see what I mean?” gesture out of the corner of his eye, and he promptly elbows Steve in the side.

“Well, you sound shady enough to be one of those business owners who sign on with… well, you know,” Tony says.

“Do I?” Bucky asks.

“Well you’re asking me certainly suggests you do. Where’s your company based again?”

Bucky manages to think of an answer without slouching this time around.  “Liverpool.”

Tony raises his eyebrows in disbelief.  “You’re pretty American sounding for an English person.”

Bucky shrugs, and starts tapping the table with his fingers again.  “I’ve been in the United States for a few years now, since I’m in charge of running the American branch of the company and, um, I found that the more… American I sound the more people here trust me?”

“How do you even start sounding American?” Tony scrunches up his nose - which Bucky theorizes is a tick of whoever this Justin Hammer guy is.  “We’re accentless.”

Bucky almost laughs in response since Tony’s Justin Hammer voice was becoming progressively more Southern sounding, but he stops himself just in time.

“It’s, uh, all in imitating speaking patterns.  For example, hey!  Babe!” Bucky calls across the table to Natasha.  “I’m rich and attractive, and we should bone!”

Natasha gives no response outside of a mildly amused look as she writes something down on one of her index cards.

Bucky turns back to Tony.  “That never seems to work for some reason.  Is that a universal thing or is it just because I’m speaking like an American?”

“You’d probably have better luck if you used your own accent.  American chicks dig that shit.”

“Really?” Bucky asks, slipping into an obnoxiously terrible English accent.  “You think I’ll be more successful if I add ‘cheerio’ to everything I say?”

“Okay,” Natasha interrupts, obviously restraining her amusement.  “I think you’ve proved yourself to be unsuccessful on the incognito front.”

“Believe it or not, he’s actually much better than I remember him being,” Steve says.

“Honestly,” Clint says through chuckles, “with some training you’d probably be able to pull it off.”

“But as is, you’re way too obvious,” Sam adds.

“What a shame,” Tony says.  “Richard Jameson will never see the light of day.  A great loss.”

Bucky takes the sunglasses off and holds them out to Tony, who shakes his head.

“Keep ‘em.  I’ve got another pair of those anyway.  They can be the official club sunglasses.”

“Why do you have two identical pairs of sunglasses?” Bruce asks.

“Because I look exceptionally good in them,” Tony replies.

“Wow,” Clint says.  “When I improvise with Tony I get indirectly made fun of, but when Bucky does it he gets expensive luxury items?”

“He’s my new favourite.”

“Does that mean I’m the new cuddle buddy?” Bucky asks, batting his eyelashes before putting the sunglasses on once more.

“Yes, we can now officially cuddle.”

“As opposed to all the unofficial cuddling we’ve done.”

Clint gasps.  “Unofficial cuddling is against the rules.  Did Steve teach you nothing?”

“Bucky’s naturally rebellious,” Steve replies.  “And we all know that Tony’s an enabler.”

“Always knew he was a bad influence,” Natasha says, shaking her head.

“Oh, shut up, Romanoff,” Tony says.  He throws his last piece of pasta through the projection.

“That would’ve hit Sam if they were actually here,” Clint points out, leaning out of his chair to pick up the food before Bruce feels the need to.

“Yeah, your aim was way off, Iron Man,” Bucky adds.

“Look, Bucko, I’d like to see you do better with a piece of boiled wheat product.  They don’t have the same velocity as our regular projectiles.”

“You just can’t aim anything that isn’t a laser,” Bucky teases.  He makes a show of picking up a piece of pasta out of his bowl and throwing it right through the hologram Natasha.  “There.  Easy.”

Tony sighs.  “The amount of disrespect I get in this tower.”

“You’re not the one getting food thrown at them through a video feed,” Sam says.

Tony and Sam then get themselves into a joking debate on who has it worse, which they drag Clint and Natasha into.  Bruce shakes his head and chooses to ignore the food on the floor next to him, deciding to finish his own meal instead.  Bucky looks at Steve who watches everyone with a terribly fond look on his face, and Bucky revels in the fact that Steve looks happier than he has in ages. 


End file.
